Samurai Shopper | Hair Cares on Astini News
Not long ago the Samurai popped into Sally Hershberger's Downtown Salon to slap palms with the superstar stylist Matt Fugate. How can you tell a superstar stylist from the rest? He's the one with the worst hairstyle in the place. The late John Sahag taught me that and it's true. So here's Matt with his hair bunched up like a pregnant Milk Dud protruding from his nape. After some mutual what's ups, Matt cops a feel of my hair and goes glum.
"Got a few minutes?" he asks. And before I know it, there's two tons of glop on my head, which has been wrapped in plastic. Like the poor cluck in Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition skit, I am then forced to sit in a comfy chair, as a potential instrument of torture is placed at my back — a giant, elliptically rotating ring that exudes heat a k a the Rollerball.
For seven mortifying minutes I get Rollerballed while other customers are having much cooler things done, like getting their hair Keratin-ized, or having strawberry blond extensions put in, or watching "Shampoo" on a flat screen television as their hair is blown out. I'm sure that's Matt's favorite movie.
"What are you doing to me?" I bleat. Have you ever heard a Samurai whine? Talk about torture; it's worse than a Yoko Ono record.
"You have lots of buildup," Matt scolds. "Chlorine, gels, conditioners, sweat … all that yuck stuck in your hair. Don't you know about clarifying shampoos?"
Obviously not. I know about shampoos that moisturize, nourish, restore, protect and volumize. I know about an overnight, revitalizing treatment by Kerastase called Noctogenist Voile Nuit. I know about Davines Delicate Replenishing Mist. And now I know that in order to have hair that is shiny, silky, smooth, split-endless, squeaky clean, bouncy and flirty, the Samurai must add clarifying shampoos to her encyclopedic knowledge of sprays, gels, glazes, pastes, mousses and waxes.
There are clarifying shampoos starting at 77 cents — Alberto VO5's Kiwi Lime Squeeze — and shampoos that pre-empt buildups: Sisley's Shampoo Phyto-Aromatique at $84. There are also many products in between. If you're budgeting, I suggest Tresemmé's Deep Cleansing Vitamin C Shampoo. Upscale or down, the key seems to be some form of vinegar, which not only cleans windows and sinks, but hair too. Of course, no one wants to smell like a marinated cucumber, so many clarifying shampoos, like John Masters Herbal Cider Hair Clarifier from beauty.com and Frédéric Fekkai's Apple Cider Clarifying Shampoo, nestle the vinegar in more diverting aromatics. In between these two vinegar powerhouses, it's nice to take a break with Love & Toast's luscious Shampoo With Hibiscus & Honey.
Rosemary, nettles and green tea also help rid the hair of plaque. At drugstore.com I found Aubrey's Green Tea Clarifying Shampoo which lathered up well and gave me a floofy, poufy boost that my non-permed, non-curly hair often lacks. Also on drugstore.com Mill Creek Botanical's Kava & Lemongrass Volumizing Shampoo was a real find, as it was the least drying of the lot. Phytoneutre Cream Shampoo by Phyto, Paris deploys extracts of eucalyptus, garlic, sage, chamomile and the very efficacious witch hazel to kick out whatever's gumming up your do.
Bumble & Bumble's Sunday Shampoo is for a once-weekly purge of urban debris, underscoring the fact that hair clarification should not occur on a daily basis. In fact, Solay's Natural Clarifying Shampoo is meant to be used only once a month, on the assumption that your regular shampoo is not all sham. If you use June Jacobs's Citrus Clarifying Shampoo every day, though, nothing bad will happen to you, and you might never knock heads with a Rollerball, or with Matt when he gets all frowny.
