Amish Teen Spends Entire Rumspringa At Apple Store | The Onion on Astini News

PITTSBURGH—Since discovering the electronics retailer by chance at the beginning of his ritual period of experimentation outside the strict regimen of the Amish life, 16-year-old Isaac Stoltzfus has spent every day of his rumspringa at a local Apple Store, sources reported Monday. "This place is amazing! Everyone here is super-friendly, and they let me try out all these neat computers and phones and stuff without pressuring me to buy anything," said Stotzfus, who reportedly can be seen at the store's entrance at sunrise each morning, waiting for the doors to open. "I love the interactive displays and presentations, of course, but probably my favorite thing to do here is just stand back and take in the atmosphere of the whole place. I had no idea the modern world was so shiny." Stolzfus added that he typically spends his entire day in the Apple Store, leaving only briefly to "head around the corner for a Jamba Juice."